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Unraveled

by Paco Is Desperate!

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Joel Sparr
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Joel Sparr The passion that is present in LP2 leaves me wanting more. Though the production quality has increased the DIY vibes have not died. The story continues on from LP1 and EP and was well worth the wait! Favorite track: Our Optimist, The Fool.
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1.
Unraveled 06:17
The permeating smell of dead flowers penetrates the seemingly endless fog And for a moment, ever so briefly, I can catch my breath, but… The air is not pure and I am not cured of this condition I’ve got Cunning and baffling - all of this is happening at once The time it takes to raise the stakes Can cut your heart just like a blade And now you unravel The mind it aches to contemplate and comprehend The more I mend the more I unravel And I turned from what I learned to practice what I know The fire that once burned now is ember's glow Nothing feels like hope The memories, they torment me - the past cannot be ran away from A year has passed and all that I ask is for my heart to stand firm What once was all, there’s nothing left - the love inside of me is gone I cannot afford to open those doors that you slammed into my face The time it takes to raise the stakes Can cut your heart just like a blade And now you unravel The mind it aches to contemplate and comprehend The more I mend the more I unravel And I turned from what I learned to practice what I know The fire that once burned now is ember's glow Nothing feels like hope And if I was meant to feel this way Well, I’d never want to be meant at all And if I was born to be this way I never asked to be born at all And now you unravel I’ll make this quick I feel like a failure I feel like a prick I will make you know Who I am Somehow
2.
A dream that’s haunting me Revolving around you I’m terrified to trust my heart I know what love can do I’m well aware that you could wreck my shit Bring me to my knees But maybe that’s what attracts me to you An element of danger You know I like to take risks Fueled by an optimist’s endless hope I’m pulling out my hair Existing in despair I can’t accept the truth Of what my history can prove I’m well aware that you could wreck my shit Bring me to my knees But maybe that’s what attracts me to you An element of danger You know I like to take risks Fueled by an optimist’s endless hope To you, I am what? Another boy in your DMs? Another game that you’re playing? I guess I’m not that smart To me, what I see Is opportunity for attention on demand To ease a weary heart It’s the state of love Hardly state of art Just come lay me down We’ll forget this part Yeah, we’ll fall apart Yeah, we’ll fall apart When all is said and done There’s nowhere left to go Once you are gone There’s nothing left
3.
First, I’d like to admit that I'm not perfect Truth be told, this ship is in distress Abandoned in the storm, I don't deserve this But you never learn so what did you expect? You thought she’d change You thought this all'd be rearranged, well... On the corner block of 5th and Madison I became convinced I had found meaning A love so beautiful yet so deceiving The story of a work of art That broke my heart Ripped me apart Tell me again, tell me again How do you justify what you did? Say it again, say it again! If it helps clear your conscience Tell me again, tell me again How do you justify what you said? Say it again say it again! Eventually you'll have to be honest And you'll know By the sinking feeling in your stomach The stubborn thoughts creeping through the back of your head “What have I thrown away”? I really liked our new apartment Well, I guess it's your new apartment now Hope it keeps you and your new boy happy When he is gone in the morning And you wonder how You can't keep anyone around Cups poured for both of us this evening The first to runneth over wins After one or two or maybe three, yeah And I am texting you again at 3am You won't reply I'll die a little more inside. Tell me again, tell me again How do you justify what you did? Say it again say it again! If it helps clear your conscience Tell me again, tell me again How do you justify what you said? Say it again say it again! Eventually you'll have to be honest And you'll know By the bitter taste in your mouth The stale smoke in your lungs that you can't quite cough out “What have I thrown away?” “What have I thrown away?” “What have I thrown away?”
4.
She says my ego Is too big for Toledo But what does she know? Sorry for being so fucking emo You can't take me away from me With words aimed at invalidating You can't mask all of your flaws Through projection and throwing salt I'll never go back To me, that town's no longer on the map Oh, what a cliche I'm unimpressed, what else can I say? And I'm moving along now To show you how you missed out And it won't be long now Till I have another cop out Half heartedly lost in my history Living presently with near constant anxiety I refuse to admit that you might have been right I've always been stubborn, and now I have grown uptight
5.
Flawed 05:55
Drifting, from needle to vein From hand to mouth, and blood to brain After I pushed the plunger down Nothing was the same Wandered over railroad tracks So far an unconvincing path And after all, the lake is only so big Then you come along to me Everything resonated In good company, everything can change But not for long Never for long Never for me Hollowed out, filled halfway back in You left me incomplete Now you see I am flawed You're rolling down your sleeves The giving up, the moving on You cut me off clean Like it was so easy... Did I deserve it? Did I earn the stripes you branded me with? When I screamed your name I know you heard it The oxygen I wasted wasn't worth it No matter how much it hurt then I know I am flawed I know that I have lost my way But I can tell you this much, I can tell you this much I will never allow myself to be vulnerable again
6.
I remember when I mattered Swallowed enough bitter pills for a lifetime and a day See, things used to feel so full Before it all decayed away Caged inside a blueprint Poor planning, oh poor me The pity parade, what a fucking charade Hanging on to wires so thin for dear life An optimist, surely A fool, most certainly I remember when I OD'd Lying dead on my living room floor My own father kept me breathing Some days I wish that my heart had stopped beating Caged inside a blueprint Poor planning, oh poor me The pity parade, what a fucking charade Hanging on to wires so thin for dear life An optimist, surely A fool, most certainly Can't ever forget what it feels like to be losing Nothing quite as thrilling as a car crash in first person
7.
I've been waiting for you Thought I found you in a dozen mistakes Narrowed down amongst the crowd Don't worry baby, they can't touch you now Talk about perfect timing No such thing as a coincidence Let me mop myself off the floor Haven't I been begging for this? And now, when I look in your eyes I see the picture so clearly I know it's what I've been missing I know it's what I've been missing I was clutching onto Anything that felt familiar and safe No rest, feeling less than me Black eyed, pure amphetamine A discovery made In a state of total apathy Found by numb and shaky hands I tripped and fell into your embrace And now, when I look in your eyes I see the picture so clearly I know it's what I've been missing I know it's what I've been missing And now, when you're holding my hand An optimist - vindicated Maybe we've finally made it Maybe we've finally made it Isn't it time to run away? Isn't it time for the old “too much on my plate”? Just how far are you willing to take? The more you go, the more you have to drink away And I've drank enough to fill the keg back up This will either be my first win or my final mistake And now, when I look in your eyes I see the picture so clearly I know it's what I've been missing I know it's what I've been missing And now, when you're holding my hand An optimist - vindicated Maybe we've finally made it Maybe we've finally made it
8.
All my life; disappointed in The men I've called my own Choose to trust, choices feel thin You get used to it, I suppose Your free will, exercised In a circus like display Character; developed from A father's lacking of Here I am Eroded by the weather Hope you're feeling better Pile it on Put it on my shoulders Watch me throw it over Accomplishing all that you could not Called in sick; I get it Once upon a time, the speed had me beat The pack of needles, you keep put away For a rainy day Your next run, the next impulse Falling asleep at the road Don't worry if you can't pay the rent You'll always have your green sugar under your tongue Here I am Eroded by the weather Hope you're feeling better Pile it on Put it on my shoulders Watch me throw it over Accomplishing all that you could not Here I am Eroded by the weather Hope you're feeling better Pile it on Put it on my shoulders Watch me throw it over Accomplishing all that you could not
9.
Tried to take it back Will is a funny thing I can't handle my liquid Or powdered dreams Perpetual autumn inside of me A loss of words I swore to keep Temptation is poetry Sweet on the ears, deadly to the knees It's calling, it's screaming Half asleep with the water pouring I'm falling, we're spinning, we're dancing My favorite game is one I can't beat I am pottery, piece by piece I have come unglued, the shattering I'm falling, we're spinning, we're dancing Softly, a solvent dissolving I'm falling, I'm spinning, I'm awkward Graceless, demeaned, and ill mannered The falling, the spinning, the dancing The falling, the spinning, the dancing The falling, the spinning, the dancing The falling… I am pottery, piece by piece I have come unglued, the shattering And I have come unglued, the shattering...
10.
Photo Finish 04:44
Time to take a bow To look back and be so proud The sum of my accomplishments That all mean nothing now And now I know what it feels like To climb all the way to the top of the mountain And die in the freezing altitude with nothing I feel like nothing Time to wave the white flag It's been sitting in a drawer Locked away, still stained red With my previous defeats I did all that I knew to do I made it all the way to you And here, it ends, it's all come unraveled Tie it up in a neat little bow Because I can't wait another day I can't wait another minute I'm not exactly filled with pride It's not quite a photo finish I can't wait another year I'll be 24 and still so full of fear I can't wait another second What I said, I fucking meant it I'll resign to indecision And accept that I can't ever fix it I can't wait another minute It's for the best, a photo finish...

about

The debut studio LP from Paco Is Desperate! First released September 13th, 2019. This is the remastered edition, which released on June 24th, 2020. The original version is now out of print.

Writing began in 2018 as the project transitioned from a solo acoustic act to a full band, and finished in March 2019. Former members Derek Wilkerson and Alex Baird joined Ashlee in studio as session musicians to assist in the recording of the album.

Initially released independently. Remastered edition released via Punkstyria Records.

credits

released September 13, 2019

Ashlee Ryan Nunley - guitar, vocals
Derek Wilkerson - bass
Alex Baird - drums

Produced by Michael Jones and Mark Miller.
Recorded May-July 2019 at Bike Rack Records.
facebook.com/bikerackrecords

Artwork - Madeline Spetrino
Artwork - Noah Leonhardt

All songs written and performed by Paco Is Desperate!

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Paco Is Desperate! Toledo, Ohio

Toledo post hardcore/emo.

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