1. |
Unraveled
06:17
|
|
||
The permeating smell of dead flowers penetrates the seemingly endless fog
And for a moment, ever so briefly, I can catch my breath, but…
The air is not pure and I am not cured of this condition I’ve got
Cunning and baffling - all of this is happening at once
The time it takes to raise the stakes
Can cut your heart just like a blade
And now you unravel
The mind it aches to contemplate and comprehend
The more I mend the more I unravel
And I turned from what I learned to practice what I know
The fire that once burned now is ember's glow
Nothing feels like hope
The memories, they torment me - the past cannot be ran away from
A year has passed and all that I ask is for my heart to stand firm
What once was all, there’s nothing left - the love inside of me is gone
I cannot afford to open those doors that you slammed into my face
The time it takes to raise the stakes
Can cut your heart just like a blade
And now you unravel
The mind it aches to contemplate and comprehend
The more I mend the more I unravel
And I turned from what I learned to practice what I know
The fire that once burned now is ember's glow
Nothing feels like hope
And if I was meant to feel this way
Well, I’d never want to be meant at all
And if I was born to be this way
I never asked to be born at all
And now you unravel
I’ll make this quick
I feel like a failure
I feel like a prick
I will make you know
Who I am
Somehow
|
||||
2. |
Our Optimist, The Fool
05:41
|
|
||
A dream that’s haunting me
Revolving around you
I’m terrified to trust my heart
I know what love can do
I’m well aware that you could wreck my shit
Bring me to my knees
But maybe that’s what attracts me to you
An element of danger
You know I like to take risks
Fueled by an optimist’s endless hope
I’m pulling out my hair
Existing in despair
I can’t accept the truth
Of what my history can prove
I’m well aware that you could wreck my shit
Bring me to my knees
But maybe that’s what attracts me to you
An element of danger
You know I like to take risks
Fueled by an optimist’s endless hope
To you, I am what?
Another boy in your DMs?
Another game that you’re playing?
I guess I’m not that smart
To me, what I see
Is opportunity for attention on demand
To ease a weary heart
It’s the state of love
Hardly state of art
Just come lay me down
We’ll forget this part
Yeah, we’ll fall apart
Yeah, we’ll fall apart
When all is said and done
There’s nowhere left to go
Once you are gone
There’s nothing left
|
||||
3. |
Zachary (Maybe)
05:19
|
|
||
First, I’d like to admit that I'm not perfect
Truth be told, this ship is in distress
Abandoned in the storm, I don't deserve this
But you never learn so what did you expect?
You thought she’d change
You thought this all'd be rearranged, well...
On the corner block of 5th and Madison
I became convinced I had found meaning
A love so beautiful yet so deceiving
The story of a work of art
That broke my heart
Ripped me apart
Tell me again, tell me again
How do you justify what you did?
Say it again, say it again!
If it helps clear your conscience
Tell me again, tell me again
How do you justify what you said?
Say it again say it again!
Eventually you'll have to be honest
And you'll know
By the sinking feeling in your stomach
The stubborn thoughts creeping through the back of your head
“What have I thrown away”?
I really liked our new apartment
Well, I guess it's your new apartment now
Hope it keeps you and your new boy happy
When he is gone in the morning
And you wonder how
You can't keep anyone around
Cups poured for both of us this evening
The first to runneth over wins
After one or two or maybe three, yeah
And I am texting you again at 3am
You won't reply
I'll die a little more inside.
Tell me again, tell me again
How do you justify what you did?
Say it again say it again!
If it helps clear your conscience
Tell me again, tell me again
How do you justify what you said?
Say it again say it again!
Eventually you'll have to be honest
And you'll know
By the bitter taste in your mouth
The stale smoke in your lungs that you can't quite cough out
“What have I thrown away?”
“What have I thrown away?”
“What have I thrown away?”
|
||||
4. |
|
|||
She says my ego
Is too big for Toledo
But what does she know?
Sorry for being so fucking emo
You can't take me away from me
With words aimed at invalidating
You can't mask all of your flaws
Through projection and throwing salt
I'll never go back
To me, that town's no longer on the map
Oh, what a cliche
I'm unimpressed, what else can I say?
And I'm moving along now
To show you how you missed out
And it won't be long now
Till I have another cop out
Half heartedly lost in my history
Living presently with near constant anxiety
I refuse to admit that you might have been right
I've always been stubborn, and now I have grown uptight
|
||||
5. |
Flawed
05:55
|
|
||
Drifting, from needle to vein
From hand to mouth, and blood to brain
After I pushed the plunger down
Nothing was the same
Wandered over railroad tracks
So far an unconvincing path
And after all, the lake is only so big
Then you come along to me
Everything resonated
In good company, everything can change
But not for long
Never for long
Never for me
Hollowed out, filled halfway back in
You left me incomplete
Now you see I am flawed
You're rolling down your sleeves
The giving up, the moving on
You cut me off clean
Like it was so easy...
Did I deserve it?
Did I earn the stripes you branded me with?
When I screamed your name I know you heard it
The oxygen I wasted wasn't worth it
No matter how much it hurt then
I know I am flawed
I know that I have lost my way
But I can tell you this much, I can tell you this much
I will never allow myself to be vulnerable again
|
||||
6. |
|
|||
I remember when I mattered
Swallowed enough bitter pills for a lifetime and a day
See, things used to feel so full
Before it all decayed away
Caged inside a blueprint
Poor planning, oh poor me
The pity parade, what a fucking charade
Hanging on to wires so thin for dear life
An optimist, surely
A fool, most certainly
I remember when I OD'd
Lying dead on my living room floor
My own father kept me breathing
Some days I wish that my heart had stopped beating
Caged inside a blueprint
Poor planning, oh poor me
The pity parade, what a fucking charade
Hanging on to wires so thin for dear life
An optimist, surely
A fool, most certainly
Can't ever forget what it feels like to be losing
Nothing quite as thrilling as a car crash in first person
|
||||
7. |
A Dozen Mistakes
03:50
|
|
||
I've been waiting for you
Thought I found you in a dozen mistakes
Narrowed down amongst the crowd
Don't worry baby, they can't touch you now
Talk about perfect timing
No such thing as a coincidence
Let me mop myself off the floor
Haven't I been begging for this?
And now, when I look in your eyes
I see the picture so clearly
I know it's what I've been missing
I know it's what I've been missing
I was clutching onto
Anything that felt familiar and safe
No rest, feeling less than me
Black eyed, pure amphetamine
A discovery made
In a state of total apathy
Found by numb and shaky hands
I tripped and fell into your embrace
And now, when I look in your eyes
I see the picture so clearly
I know it's what I've been missing
I know it's what I've been missing
And now, when you're holding my hand
An optimist - vindicated
Maybe we've finally made it
Maybe we've finally made it
Isn't it time to run away?
Isn't it time for the old “too much on my plate”?
Just how far are you willing to take?
The more you go, the more you have to drink away
And I've drank enough to fill the keg back up
This will either be my first win or my final mistake
And now, when I look in your eyes
I see the picture so clearly
I know it's what I've been missing
I know it's what I've been missing
And now, when you're holding my hand
An optimist - vindicated
Maybe we've finally made it
Maybe we've finally made it
|
||||
8. |
|
|||
All my life; disappointed in
The men I've called my own
Choose to trust, choices feel thin
You get used to it, I suppose
Your free will, exercised
In a circus like display
Character; developed from
A father's lacking of
Here I am
Eroded by the weather
Hope you're feeling better
Pile it on
Put it on my shoulders
Watch me throw it over
Accomplishing all that you could not
Called in sick; I get it
Once upon a time, the speed had me beat
The pack of needles, you keep put away
For a rainy day
Your next run, the next impulse
Falling asleep at the road
Don't worry if you can't pay the rent
You'll always have your green sugar under your tongue
Here I am
Eroded by the weather
Hope you're feeling better
Pile it on
Put it on my shoulders
Watch me throw it over
Accomplishing all that you could not
Here I am
Eroded by the weather
Hope you're feeling better
Pile it on
Put it on my shoulders
Watch me throw it over
Accomplishing all that you could not
|
||||
9. |
The Shattering
04:19
|
|
||
Tried to take it back
Will is a funny thing
I can't handle my liquid
Or powdered dreams
Perpetual autumn inside of me
A loss of words I swore to keep
Temptation is poetry
Sweet on the ears, deadly to the knees
It's calling, it's screaming
Half asleep with the water pouring
I'm falling, we're spinning, we're dancing
My favorite game is one I can't beat
I am pottery, piece by piece
I have come unglued, the shattering
I'm falling, we're spinning, we're dancing
Softly, a solvent dissolving
I'm falling, I'm spinning, I'm awkward
Graceless, demeaned, and ill mannered
The falling, the spinning, the dancing
The falling, the spinning, the dancing
The falling, the spinning, the dancing
The falling…
I am pottery, piece by piece
I have come unglued, the shattering
And I have come unglued, the shattering...
|
||||
10. |
Photo Finish
04:44
|
|
||
Time to take a bow
To look back and be so proud
The sum of my accomplishments
That all mean nothing now
And now I know what it feels like
To climb all the way to the top of the mountain
And die in the freezing altitude with nothing
I feel like nothing
Time to wave the white flag
It's been sitting in a drawer
Locked away, still stained red
With my previous defeats
I did all that I knew to do
I made it all the way to you
And here, it ends, it's all come unraveled
Tie it up in a neat little bow
Because I can't wait another day
I can't wait another minute
I'm not exactly filled with pride
It's not quite a photo finish
I can't wait another year
I'll be 24 and still so full of fear
I can't wait another second
What I said, I fucking meant it
I'll resign to indecision
And accept that I can't ever fix it
I can't wait another minute
It's for the best, a photo finish...
|
Streaming and Download help
If you like Paco Is Desperate!, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp